Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
