i don't like sucking hair
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
