When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
