dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
