Just mADE A PArabola og urine
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He shit in the fireplace
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