There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
