That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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