Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
