Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
