just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
