When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
