I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
