what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
