There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
