I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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