Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
