Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
