i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
