4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
