A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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