He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
