1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
