I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
