'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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