she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
