He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
