is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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