Grow some girl-balls and come out already
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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