Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
