Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
