The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
