Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
