Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
