Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
