whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
