what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
