I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
