I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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