So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
