I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
