dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
