Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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