I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
