plz talk dirty to me
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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