hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
