Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
