I got chris browned last night
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
