How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Randomize
