I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
