During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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