you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
